Writings belong of David Finnigan

Sex scenes

June 17, 2010 on 6:39 am | In Uncategorized |

Some thoughts inspired by the Street Theatre production of Underage House Party Play.

Through the rehearsal process, director Steve Barker, performer Matt Kelly and stage manager Natalia Thomas workshopped and fine-tuned the Underage House Party Play script. The result is a far more effective and well-structured play, with my stream of consciousness ramblings fitted to a tight theatrical frame. Unfortunately, the short rehearsal period and my working schedule meant that I was unable to attend or participate in these workshops. For that reason, when a scene or a set of lines didn’t work, I was not on hand to edit and redraft.

In almost every instance, Steve’s edits accorded exactly with my vision - he understood what I was trying to convey, and conveyed it better than I had. Only once did a script alteration jar with me, and the reasons for and against the change are I think interesting and worth discussing.

The scene in question is the sex scene: 4.30am at the house party, Manson Lane and Gwen Malkin are getting it on for the first time in their host’s bedroom. Lane briefly lost his erection while putting on a condom, but a few gentle strokes and he’s ready to go. This is the original version of the scene:

Gwen - Are you all right?
Lane - Yeah, I’m good, it’s - I just need a second -

Alright, partial success - now Lane goes in to penetrate, but he can’t find the entrance to Gwen’s vagina. This is something porn has not taught Lane - where exactly in the slit is the vaginal opening? And while Lane’s struggling, Gwen’s lying back feeling awkward, not wanting to take the lead but after feeling his dick push all the way from her clitoral hood down to her asshole, Gwen finally reaches down and takes hold.

Gwen - Hold on, hold on - there you are, push in now. Push. That’s right. Oh, ow - slower, slower, please stop -
Lane - Sorry, sorry, is that okay?
Gwen - That’s alright. You can go a bit deeper, just be slow.

Gwen’s clenching her teeth, tensing up against the foreign object intruding into her and flinching when it pushes in deeper. Lane’s concentrating so hard on figuring out how to move in Gwen’s he’s barely aware of the vagina clenching against his cock. Lane’s penis is used to the relaxed hands-on sensation of masturbation, and it responds to the intense, stressful situation by starting to go soft. Lane keeps carefully thrusting, but both of them can feel his cock shrinking inside Gwen.

Gwen - Are you okay? Am I doing something wrong?
Lane - Sorry, I’m losing it. Hang on a second.

Lane pulls out out of Gwen and crouches over his wang anxiously.

Lane - I’m sorry, I’m turned on, it’s just feels weird.
Gwen - Where’s the condom?
Lane - It’s… it’s come off.
Gwen - Where is it? It was on when you went into me. Is it on the bed?
Lane - It’s not on the bed. I think it must have come off when I was in you.
Gwen - Shit. Can you see it? Is it hanging out?
Lane - I can’t see it. Um, do you want me to reach in and get it?
Gwen - I’ll do it, it’s okay. Maybe - can you not look while I do this? Give me just a minute. Can you grab another condom?

That was the original text of the scene. This is the edited version:

Gwen - Are you all right?
Lane - Yeah, I’m good, it’s… I just need a second…

Alright, partial success. Now, something porn has not taught Lane is where exactly it goes. And while Lane’s struggling, Gwen’s lying back feeling awkward, not wanting to take the lead but after feeling his dick pushing everywhere but where it needs to go, Gwen finally reaches down and takes hold.

Lane – Aaaahhhh. It’s alright, I can go again.

Two changes were made from the original: 1. The description of Lane’s penis entering Gwen is much shorter and less explicit. 2. Instead of losing a condom during intercourse, Lane prematurely ejaculates.

Let me be clear - I’m not debating the director’s choice in making those changes, and I don’t dispute that they were necessary, at least for this production. The director’s explanation was that the language used in those lines is quite distinct from the other voices in the script. Fair enough, but I can’t help the feeling that future versions of that scene will look more like the original than the edit.

My reasoning is something along these lines: sex is incredibly complex. Getting it on with someone else is a physically, mentally and emotionally challenging activity, and the consequences of sex bleed out to almost every other part of our lives. (It’s also heaps of fun.) I strongly feel that the public discourse around sex should be far more intelligent, informed and yes, explicit. If you’re a curious young person (or curious any person) who wants to learn about sex, you need to sift through a mountain of disinformation intended to promote certain political/religious agendas, and another mountain of unpleasant, misogynistic portrayals of sex provided by exploitative commercial pornography. Even if you knew which sources were bullshit and could easily ignore them, accessing informed and intelligent opinions about sex is needle in haystick-like.

(As an important aside, I can’t talk about informed and intelligent opinions about sex without mentioning Scarleteen, the sex education website which has provided me with inspiration, solid facts and a really mature outlook on a whole range of sex, youth and related issues.)

I’m not a sex educator, nor am I claiming to have any particular informed insight into topics around sex, but I can talk from my own experience (direct experience, and the knowledge I’ve picked up like we all pick up through living in the world); and when I do, I want to speak as plainly and clearly as I can.

Of course the scene quoted above is awkward and cringe-worthy, which was completely my intention in writing it. A lot of the comedy in Underage House Party Play is derived from the characters’ embarrassment at their situation. In the original text, the action moves away from Gwen and Lane’s condom predicament for several minutes, then concludes with the following lines:

Just after 5am. For the last few minutes, Gwen Malkin has been lying under the cover of Mott’s bed with one hand groping in her vajay. There’s something undefinably creepy about having a little plastic sock floating freely inside you. Gwen was happy to slide it into her vagina when it was attached to Lane’s penis, but now Lane’s gone it’s like there’s an alien object loose in her guts. When at last the tips of her fingers brush latex, Gwen stops for a second. She takes her time, carefully grips it between her fingers and draws it out. Long, long sigh of relief. Then the distant sound of glass shattering.

I think that this scene is awkward, cringeworthy - and yet hopefully at the same time, funny. I know that this kind of material is offensive to a certain demographic, and that’s not something I’m pleased about - I’m not setting out to offend - but as long as people are offended by the mere mention of penetrative sex, I’m afraid offensive is unavoidable. What I don’t want to do is be insensitive or insulting in my portrayal of these  situations, either by being crass and stupid for easy laughs, or by speaking on behalf of people whose experiences I have no insight into without proper consultation.

For example: for me to write a scene from the perspective of a girl trying to extricate a condom from her vagina is fraught, because I’ve never had that happen to me. I might completely misrepresent the experience, or I might say something which people who’ve had that experience find offensive. The solution (I think) is not to avoid writing from those other perspectives, but to research and consult with relevant people before writing. Also: to be ready at any time to listen if someone whose perspective I’m purporting to write from is upset or offended by my depiction of their experiences, willing to cop to any errors in judgment and to make amends where possible.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to apologise and make changes whenever anyone dislikes or is appalled by the content or language in my playscripts. If a man tells me that a particular line of dialogue from a female character is offensive to women, I will smile politely and completely ignore them. If a woman tells me the same thing, I will acknowledge their more in-depth knowledge of what offends women and talk it out with them.

In this instance: I am here and now laying this out for your thoughts and opinions. A large part of the sex scene in Underage House Party Play is from the perspective of teenage girls, and before I do any more editing I would be grateful for your input if you are or ever have been a teenage girl. I have the following questions:

1. Have you ever lost a condom during intercourse? If so, what was that like for you?
2. Did the sex scene seem realistic? Did it resonate with experiences you’ve had personally, or was it completely alien?
3. Do you find the language in the scene offensive? Why/why not?

Email me at blind_dragonfly at uymail dot com and I will be one thousand times grateful. Much love!