Potential Band Names

Myself and my brother Chris collaborate musically under the banner of Finnigan and Brother. The name came from our performance at the 2009 Multicultural Fringe Festival; we rambled backstage to wait out the set before ours by Dave Graney and the Lurid Yellow Mist*, and we discovered we’d been written up on the schedule as FINNIGAN AND BROTHER. Simple, true but ambiguous; of course we adopted it.

However, that hasn’t (and will not) stopped us from coming up with other, superb band names for artists and projects that may someday come to be. The following is a selection from the ever-expanding list. Explanatory notes included where required.

The Latte Belt
Socially progressive urban left-leaning demographic.

The Black Handed Spider Monkeys
One of the largest New World monkeys, weighing as much as 9 kilograms.

The Stingray Whisperer
Our sister Danielle possesses the supernatural ability to summon stingrays by softly singing across the surface of the waves.

Hate Boat
Defending Israel’s lethal June 2010 commando raid on a flotilla of activists challenging Israel’s naval blockade of Gaza, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu explained that ‘This wasn’t a Love Boat; this was a Hate Boat.’

Tree Head
What would you name your yet unborn child? Our 3 year-old niece’s suggestions were Polly (for a girl) and Tree Head (for a boy).

The Women’s Death Battalion
In between the 1917 Socialist Revolution and the takeover by the Bolsheviks in 1918, Kerensky’s provisional government scrambled to assemble female fighting units to carry on the war in Europe. The 1st Russian Women’s Battalion of Death, led by Maria Bochkareva, were blisteringly hardcore.

Find Tougher People
Upon seizing power in 1918, the Bolsheviks began a campaign of political repression known as the Red Terror. From a telegram sent by Lenin: “Comrades! The kulak uprising in your five districts must be crushed without pity … You must make example of these people. (1) Hang (I mean hang publicly, so that people see it) at least 100 kulaks, rich bastards, and known bloodsuckers. (2) Publish their names. (3) Seize all their grain. (4) Single out the hostages per my instructions in yesterday’s telegram. Do all this so that for miles around people see it all, understand it, tremble, and tell themselves that we are killing the bloodthirsty kulaks and that we will continue to do so … Yours, Lenin. P.S. Find tougher people.”

Cardinal Clownmouth
As Will Sands in Boho’s True Logic, I spent the first three scenes of the play in an extended freeze, with only my head moving. I became so adept at swivelling my head left to right that I adopted the title Cardinal Clownmouth, in honour of my head-swivelling brethren in carnivals everywhere.

Colonel Crackcrown
At the 1761 Southwark Fair, Samuel Foote’s booth offered a whimsical duel between ‘Major Blinco’ and ‘Colonel Crackcrown’. Chris and I dream that one day we will perform as rival MC’s Cardinal Clownmouth and Colonel Crackcrown.

The Rolling Blackouts
An intentionally-engineered electrical power outage used as a last-resort measure used by an electric utility company in order to avoid a total blackout of the power system.

Electric Union
I have no idea. Lost in the mists of time – Chris, do you remember the origin of this one?

I prefer a natural bush -on myself and on other women. I am not into hirsutism per se but to me pubic hair feels more feminine and sexy.’ Thank you as always Betty Dodson.

Jerusalem Squabble Fever
A group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by a visit to the city of Jerusalem.

Kids at Risk (alternatively, Fuck Kids at Risk)
Young people identified as being in danger of depression, isolation, criminal activities, drug or alcohol abuse, bullying, self-harm, suicide, aggression or what-have-you.

Deep-sea dweller with the largest teeth of any fish in the ocean, proportionate to body size. Fangtooths have evolved a pair of opposing sockets on either side of the brain to accommodate the teeth when the mouth is closed.

An animal that eats verbs, natch.

Aggressive Salmon
Chris just messaged me this yesterday, no idea where it came from. Chris? Explanation?

Child G-String
Hyper-sexualisation of children’s fashion vs sensational moral panic stirred by media pundits – another day in the news, really.

So, to tie all this back in with some kind of current relevance, Finnigan and Brother will be performing this Monday 14 March at the You Are Here festival’s Overhead Projector Jam. Taking place in SmithDick, the festival hub located in the old Dick Smith shopfront in the Civic Interchange, the Overhead Projector Jam is a free-for-all participatory light and sound jam featuring an array of overhead projectors.

As the website says: ‘Sit down at a projector and try yourself out as a shadow puppeteer, animator or lo-fi VJ. With an array of hands-on toys and tools and a live soundtrack of ambient drift by Finnigan and Brother, DJ Volume and others, this is the relaxed, creative play-space you have been longing for all year. Euphoria is a time and place, not a state of mind: The time is 6-9pm Monday 14 March and the place is SmithDick, Civic Interchange.

*Demonstrating how vital a good name is for the success of your enterprise.